John Skelton, in his 16th century "Magnyfycence," wrote:
There is nothynge that more dyspleaseth God,
Than from theyr children to spare the rod.
Time, Letter from Judy Lind. January 12, 2004
When Little Kids Attack
[responding to Time feature December 15, 2003 :
Does Kindergarten Need Cops?
I remember that my first-grade teacher was a real battle-ax, but if I had ever spoken to her as did the 6-year-old in your article who told his teacher to "shut up, bitch," I would have been tasting laundry soap for days.
We were exposed to as much violence in the movies and on TV as the current crop of kids. We also had working mothers, but our parents knew how to set and enforce limits, and didn't hesitate to do so.
It's up to the parents to raise their children. Too many of them aren't doing it.
Judy Lind
New York City
Pro-spanking advocates through the past few decades: Ginger Plowman, Jane Murphy, Jack Hyles, Larry Tomsczak, Bro. Fugate, Roy Lessin, Jamie Pritchett, Nora Redding, Pat Fabrizio, Arn Tibbets, Margaret Hale, Elaine Lehman, Carol Benjamin.
George and Laura Bush: One hesitates to even include them as 'advocates' per se. While on record as having used spanking as a child-rearing tool, they come across as very moderate on the issue, strongly opposed to outright abuse, and only supportive of a quite restrained and judicious sort of approach. Similarly, James Dobson, a 'notorious' advocate of spanking, is actually far from fanatical ... if one looks carefully at what he actually says. He consistently qualifies his support of spanking, and though he urges parents accept responsiblity, and that children learn to accept parental authority, I find no place where he makes excuses for the kind of tyranny or abuse we see in the 'horror stories' of violently oppressed victims. The following is
from Focus on the Family, Letter from Yvonne Carter. Aug/Sep, 2003
"Overnight" it, please!
I was at the library with my 20-month-old, Christy. I asked the librarian to help me locate Dr. Dobson's "The Strong-Willed Child," which was new at the time. As the librarian was filling out a form to request the book from a neighboring library, Christy threw herself on the floor in a tantrum because I wouldn't let her run between the shelves. The lady looked at me and asked, "Shall we put 'rush' on it?"
Yvonne Carter
San Angelo, Texas
Novelist Taylor Caldwell believes that boys respect swift punishment and pain. They may yell and say some harsh things, but they will respect the lessons that of that good right hand which deals out immediate justice, as well as cookies and caresses." She warns that if discipline is not administered while the child is still young, the parents should expect trouble later on. He will shriek police brutality," rights Caldwell, "when he is given the blows he ought to have had in the playpen."
[Morgan, Total Joy. p 157]
Authoress Betty Elliot tells of her rigorous disciplined life while growing up, where "a small switch was kept in nearly every room of the house, on the lintel of the door, and often my mother's eyes, raised in the direction of the door, galvanized us to obedience. But any one of the six children would be glad to testify to the rollicking fun we have always had, laughing most of the time."
[Morgan, Total Joy. p 157]
A lickin' often does a fellow good
Hard knocks are painful things an' hard to bear,
An' most of us would dodge 'em if we could;
There's something mighty broadening in care --
A lickin' often does a fellow good.
[poem by Edgar Guest]
Arthur Lelyveld
discusses the talionic principle with its origins in biblical tradition as well as numerous ancient cultures. The concept of "measure for measure" is merely a less graphic alternative phrasing of "an eye for an eye." Rabbi Lelyveld takes note of Talmudic statements on punishment with their over-riding emphasis on mercy and compassion.
One famous tractate of the Talmud is known as Makkot, which means flogging, or stripes. Lelyveld says that "Makkot as a form of punishment, therapy, or prophylaxis, has persisted among traditional Jews up to modern times."
But mercy infuses and permeates the rabbinical interpretation of the instructions related to flogging, whipping, the administration thereof, and the response of "the floggee." Lelyveld quotes verbatim the passage in the Torah (Deuteronomy 25) relating to a judicial beating. That is, the culprit (stripped), is made to lie down, and then the whipping is adminsistered according to the strict biblical rules as received from Moses.
Rabbi Lelyveld reminds us of the compassionate injunction of Beruriah, the saintly and scholarly wife of the eminent second-century sage, Rabbi Meir, to "hate the sin but love the sinner."
[p 69, Punishment. Harold Hart, ed.]
Robert E. Lee believed that children "should be governed by love, not fear"
His own father, whom he revered, had been an absentee dad. Ironically, despite the differing circumstances, Robert wound up ALSO being an absentee dad, in turn, to his own children. Of course, this separation was largely a result of his dedication to his career as an officer in the United States Army, and later the Army of Northern Virginia. In 1852 he wrote his wife (Mary Custis Lee) "God punishes us for our sins here and in the hereafter. He is punishing me for mine through my children. It is there I am most vulnerable, most sensitive."
Clinton Duffy, the notable warden, states: "I have always said that I am in favor of punishment for those who commit wrong in the community and for the child who does something wrong at home." However Duffy goes on to advocate a far more humane and liberal approach to penology and corrections than what conservatives generally do. He declares his view that corporal punishment is not the answer, but he qualifies that by saying: "Paddling of youngsters is in order, and many times will set the stage for a better way of life as the youngster grows up."
[from Punishment. Harold Hart, ed.]
Edward Madden says:
It is not inconceivable, given certain sorts of transgressions, that a child would come to see physical punishment as deserved, and would be contemptuous of an adult who let him off. The crucial thing, if an adult is to be successful in punishing a child, is that he be fair, loving, and set a good example. With these attributes, he is not likely to fail. Without them, it is impossible for him to succeed.
[from Punishment. Harold Hart, ed.]
Rudolf Dreikurs says:
"Every person who was beaten as a child shows the marks of the blows in his character. The typical result of the whipping in childhood is either the servile, timorous individual, who usually is at one and the same time cringing and crafty, or the arrogant and objectionably self-assured person. Almost everyone who was beaten in his childhood has a tendency toward brutality. He may become a very capable person; his hardness and harshness may make him particularly well fitted for success in business or some profession. But he is wanting in genuine gentleness, warmth, and the capacity for intimate contacts. It is not that he is incapable of deeper feelings, but he cannot rid himself of distrust. Basically he may always fear a recurrence of the humiliations and abasements that he experienced as a child, and as a result he comes across as callous and unfeeling." [p 138, The Challenge of Parenting]
Elie Wiesel, in his novel "The Fifth Son," writes concerning one of the characters:
Simha, the kabbalist, claims that after the punishment will come the redemption.
But [p 202] the narrator protaganist, facing a crisis, says:
In my thoughts I summon my father and his friend Simha, my sick mother and my friend Bontchek to advise me. An old saying crosses my mind: "The Lord may wish to chastise, that is His prerogative; but it is mine to refuse to be His whip."
Who's the barbarian here?
Dr. Irwin Hyman cites an incident in the Old West. (The introduction to a book called Corporal Punishment in American Education) in which a chief of the Nez Percé Indians was riding through a white man's camp on his way to a peace talk with United States Army officers. When he passed a soldier beating a child, the chief pulled up his horse.
"There is no point in talking peace with barbarians," he said to the Indians with him. "What could you say to a man who would strike a child?" Then he turned and led his party back out of camp.
See: Reading, Writing, and the Hickory Stick: The Appalling Story of Physical and Psychological Abuse in American Schools
John Stuart Mill: There is always hope when people are forced to listen to both sides.
Proverbs 3:31 saith: Envy not the oppressor and learn none of his ways.
