from the ashes, we rise
When a man loves a woman, their children thrive.

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No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
[David McKay]

Mike Epps and his wifey
the epps
Like they're leaving church!

Epps says: You know, my life's changed now. I'm starting to experience what people are really supposed to do. You supposed to be married. You're supposed to have a family, kids, treat your wife right

"The core unit which determines the strength of any society is the family;
therefore, the government should foster and protect its integrity. "



Make it Last Forever

When a Man Loves a Woman, Their Children Thrive >

"Treat your wife well," the minister said, "and everything else will fall into place."

God is love

By Leah Y. Latimer
BET Families Columnist

During the hour of counseling my husband and I had to undergo before getting married, my minister uttered words I would not understand as among life's great truths until years later.

"The best thing a man can do for his children," he said, "is to love their mother."

With the big Love weekend preceding Valentine's Day behind us, I was reminded of the words the Rev. William H. Bishop spoke to me, and the fact that true love between a man and a woman should be celebrated all the time, not just once a year over flowers and chocolate. When you think about it, there is too much at stake not to understand that this single union, perhaps more than any other, defines the happiness and well being of not just the partners in it, but of their children, community and society as a whole.

"The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."

I know now this is certainly true, although it is difficult to see it play out these days when so many women allow men who do not love them to father their children. But where there is real love in the beginning, its blossoming nurtures everyone touched by it. Its steadfastness strengthens those whose lives are defined by it.

Its erosion, on the other hand, can have devastating impact, especially for children, whether theirs is a public display of pain (known as acting out) or more private, personal suffering.

Divorce and its potential devastation on children are part of the national landscape. But here I'm not discussing the devastation when the actual relationship ends, but the damage done when love turns ugly. What woman, for example, can fully nurture and dote on her little ones when she's preoccupied with her man's whereabouts? Will she remember to ask about school if she's sad and depressed wondering where he's hanging his hat? Will she miss the fact that her son is out late and her daughter's grades have slipped?

How can a woman be the best she can be if she's disrespected by the one who should hold her above all others? Can she hold on to the sense of self-worth and confidence she'll need to take on her boss, an unfair landlord or a neighborhood thug?

A man who does the mother of his children wrong, who scolds, degrades or insults her, leaves his children to be raised by a woman who is less than she could be. And what she loses as a woman, her children lose in her ability to mother.

"Treat your wife well," Rev. Bishop chided my husband-to-be "and everything else will fall into place."

What Rev. Bishop was talking about works both ways, of course. A woman who disrespects the father of her children, degrades and belittles him, wrongs the children who need to admire and look up to him. They need his strength, direction and guidance even if she does not.

Children need to see both parents treating each other with love, dignity and respect. This is how they learn what to expect-and what to reject-in their own love affairs.

Falling in Love is Easy
Staying in Love Takes Work

romance has passion

Make It Last Forever

A young girl whom my husband and I had known for years, for example, knew we lived together and by then had one child. Yet she was puzzled and a little stunned to hear we were celebrating a wedding anniversary. "You're married?" the 12-year-old asked. She said, "I thought only old people were married." The product of teen-age passion herself, she talked of marriage with mocking disrespect. Maybe not surprisingly, she became a teenaged mother and struggled on her own.

Many of the problems plaguing children of all colors are directly linked to whether their parents love each other-and how well. I saw this clearly through a simple exercise I did while trying to breakdown the problems facing children today (in my continuing search for solutions). On a yellow legal pad, I listed a chronology of ills: poor prenatal care, preventable disease and birth defects, neglect and abuse, poverty, low-quality daycare and poor schooling. The list continued with youthful aggression and violence, crime, teenage depression, promiscuity and parenthood, and an unpreparedness to thrive independently in the world.

I was exhausted by the litany of problems until the simplicity of their origin became clear: They all begin with a man and a woman. The emotional and, yes, financial strength of the partners determines what kind of lives their children will have. Where the partners and the relationship are weak, society too often hears about it in one of the ways on my list. Where the relationship is strong and enduring, children have the best chance of growing happily and well.

I can hear the successful single mothers now. They'd note that the lack of a loving mate does not necessarily lead to female misery. And they might point out that legions of mothers do well, along with their progeny, without the sperm donor. And vice-versa.

They're right on both points. But it's wrong to believe that being loved and cherished and supported in the lifetime job of child rearing is not an ideal; not something to hold out for. Something "old folks" do? I wonder who today could not give more to their children with the full-time help and support of a second loving parent.

If you're a young couple just starting out, or single and planning to hook up with someone one day, think about what my preacher said. Think about it also if you're an established couple going through the hard times that are a part of life. Think about it this week, as you throw out the withered flowers and left-over chocolate.

Leah Y. Latimer is a mother and author.


Robert Shepherd says
I so much love longevity and perseverance in relationships. I love the MILF ideal, making it last forever. Yeah, the fairy tale endings, "they lived happily ever after." To me, words like "faithfulness" and "loyalty" are such beautiful words. Why should it be an impossible dream? A house divided cannot stand.

But along with this romance, this ideal, there is a corollary. We often neglect the nuts-and-bolts realism side. Self-honesty, self-disclosure, the trust issue. How can there be faithfulness if there is no trust? I believe many husbands, especially young ones, or those with low emotional IQ, may try to keep their inner selves hidden. They may try to hide themselves, rather than attempt open self disclosure and simple honesty. Have you ever had an adviser counsel you to "strip yourself bare. Come Clean." How can she help you if you do not do your part? Like the sacrament of going to confession. Examining your conscience, searching your heart. You have to help yourself - then she can help you.

Try self-honesty. Man up. No more secrets.

Play - If Ever I Would Leave You

Liz Gilbert says
"There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody
than to ACCEPT THEM FULLY, to love them almost in spite of themselves."

(in O Magazine)

real man
From Francine Taborn-Cappe (facebook)

Confucius said
The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home

Theodore Reik commented
There is need of variety in sex, but not in love.

We Need Our
Families Whole

Lovers are Like Mystics
Paul Hourihan, commenting on the Upanishads

Every experience, every relationship, can teach us of the Divine. Falling in love or marrying, for example, enables us to understand the knowledge of God, the divine in human affairs. The awakening of love can't be understood or sanctioned by the ordinary reason. It is a mystical experience. A person truly in love resembles the mystic, if on a lesser scale. The mystic feels as the lover does -- but towards everyone. That is the only difference. That is to say, the mystic feels selfless, all-loving, all-forgiving, fearless, self-sacrificing, just as we feel toward our beloved. Ordinary ego-conceptions do not prevail when we are in love; an entirely different part of our personality is involved, the mystical part. Other relationships, in the same way, can be cultivated to distill out of them their mystical part.

Paul Hourihan.
Children of Immortal Bliss
(on the Ancient Vedanta Philosophy)

Here's a page I hope you will like . . . thirty-six-year romance
Challenging your manhood . . . Real Men Do NOT Rape
and just something pretty . . . Creative Power of Love
Speaking out (but gently) Alliance for Marriage
Are your children ready? Preparing for college
Barack and Michelle Obama Our Model Marriage
The American Moses Martin Luther King, Jr
Sara's Love and Spite (blogspot) Black Woman IS Sexy
First College President The Father Healy Story
Our vital fathers Let's Step Up to the Plate
Married Bliss Lindy's Humor Page
Online Links Soul Power Today
M.I.L.F.Make It Last Forever

The best security blanket a child can have is parents who love each other.
[Jan Blaustone]

search the scriptures
John 5 : 39

give us men
Our Youth Need Good Role Models

Guest Book Closed
Guestbook by GuestWorld

What if God designed marriage to make us holy instead of happy?
[Gary Thomas]

gown by doo ri chung

Getting married is easy.
Staying married, is very difficult.
Staying happily married for a life-
time should rank among the fine arts!

[Roberta Flack]

"Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair is a totally different thing. A marriage is a commitment to that which you are. That person is literally your other half. And you and the other are one. A love affair isn't that. That is a relationship of pleasure, and when it gets to be unpleasurable, it's off. But a marriage is a life commitment, and a life commitment means the prime concern of your life. If marriage is not the prime concern, you are not married."

[Joseph Campbell]
link: the abyss

presidential prayer team
Presidential Prayer Team

The family has always been the cornerstone of American society. Our families nurture, preserve, and pass on to
each succeeding generation the values we share and cherish, values that are the foundation of our freedoms.

(Ronald Reagan)

Daddy seahorse

gets pregnant

Black women don't have the same body image problem that white
women do. They are proud of their bodies. Black men love big butts.

Tyra Banks

Better Marriages
Better Marriages

Better-Marriages educates couples and promotes marriage enrichment opportunities & resources to strengthen
couple relationships, increase intimacy, and enhance personal growth, mutual fulfillment, and family wellness.

Bob Shepherd As an old white guy who grew up in the climate of Segregationism, I am a bit in awe of black people for holding on to values and character in an age when the rest of us seem to have lost it. Somehow they have INNER character. My wish is that all of us could learn from them. My own wife Linda was the first one who really helped me see this. I think women have a "sight" which helps them SEE sooner than their husbands. Who was it said White women will save the world (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh maybe). Well, women, all women, are in some sense emotionally and spiritually superior.

I have to applaud black women for "standing by their man." In fact, they LIFT their men. No one has suffered more in American history than the black man. We whites should learn from blacks. I read a Jewish thing, they were talking about Sarah and Abraham. Sarah was higher status, than her relative (cousin?) Abraham. Yet she honoured him above her. She called him Lord. Truly the rabbis say princess Sarah was a woman of valor. That is how I see black woman. We whites have much to learn from the black people. They are Kings and Queens, in terms of emotional IQ. In terms of inner character.     (by Bob Shepherd 9/21/14)


The German poet Novalis wrote:

"Love is the final end of the world's history; the Amen of the universe."

We All Wish for a Peace Dividend
(But not at the price of forgetting those who served)

Mitt Romney

Robert Shepherd
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