Kendra
and I met in college back in late-1994, and we were as opposite as black and
white (rim shot, please). We couldn't stand each other...there was
literally nothing that we could find in common. In early 1995, we were in
a radio class together since we were both studying radio and broadcasting.
Her main interest was in radio management. Anyway, in spite of a
"tough girl" attitude she showed, she was really a tender lady at
heart. I didn't know nor care to know about it at the time, but I would
eventually learn that fact. She thought that I was a "naive
geek" since I wasn't into all the popular music and other things that were
pop culture at the time. However, it would be an unexpected song we
both were familiar with that would "break the ice". And the
funny part is...it wasn't even a popular love song.
Unspoken connection speaks in a way surpassing words
Kendra and I are both
Christians, even though she wasn't living her faith at the time. While she
was playing the latest in dance mixes in a practice "radio station" in
our classroom, I was playing Contemporary Christian Music. No one in the
classroom knew the songs I was playing...except her. And the one song that
she really got into was a late-80's tune by Michael W. Smith called,
"Secret Ambition", a song about Jesus' life and purpose on earth.
The hook in that song goes, "Nobody knew His secret ambition...was to give
his life away." Kendra was singing along with that song while the
rest of the class was looking dazed and confused, wondering what I was playing.
After the class, Kendra approached me, and asked if I was a Christian. I
told her, "yes", and she apologized for her initial views of me.
She understood why I wasn't into all the "pop-culture" stuff that she
was into. That was the start of what would ultimately come out to be a
"be-you-tiful friendship."
A little trick turned out to be a big favor
A couple of classmates of ours decided to inadvertently play cupid on us, as they were telling us
individually that the other wanted to go out with the other person. I, as
gullible as I was, approached Kendra and asked her to go out with me to dinner
after class. She initially responded with "I'm going home to ride my
bike...WHY?!?!?!?!?" I then basically made a deal with her...I
told her that I was willing to treat her to dinner. If she enjoyed my
company, then great. If not, then at least she gets a free dinner.
After frantically asking classmates whether or not she should take me up on my
offer, she agreed. We went to a Bennigan's in downtown Chicago, and the
night went well; as she did something she very rarely did with men at that
time...she gave me her phone number. I lost it over the upcoming weekend,
but we saw each other again the following Monday. By Wednesday, we
shared our first of what would be many kisses.
Can love ... and God ... overcome the barriers that divide?
We would get engaged in
1996, and marry in 1998. During our time together, we knew that our racial
differences would not be met with opposition by some, but with support from more
than enough people around us. Fortunately, both of our families were
supporting our relationship on racial grounds. There were NO problems from
either side in the areas of a black man dating/marrying a white woman. My
father briefly mentioned a concern, but I was able to explain to him that real
love knows no color. Kendra and I deepened our convictions over the years
that we cannot allow society to dictate to us what is acceptable dating.
Yes...there are people who either silently or outwardly reject our union based
on race. However, our God is greater than that rejection, and it was His
will for us to be together. He is using us to strengthen, sharpen, and
encourage each other. And now...we're a family of THREE.
Children are the heritage of the Lord, the reward of God's love
When Josh was born, I cried when I held him for the first time. Joshua is such a blessing, and I rejoice that he is in our lives. He's such a beautiful boy, and I thank God for him. May any future children be blessed with such love and beauty.
They'll have a mom and dad who will love and nurture them with all their being.
They'll also have a mom and dad who will teach them that their skin color is
should not be treated as a barrier to whatever their dreams in life are.
People around them will use it as an excuse to create an obstacle, but by the strength and grace of our Almighty Father, they will break through those walls and set a standard of excellence that will be the example for generations of
children of all skin colors to follow.
thanks to about.com
